|Location:||Hearthglen / Stormwind|
Drainor and Sproggingtons Offer
Aeonarr, or Anchorite Aeonarr Onefiftykay, was born in Nagrand alongside the Shamanistic Orcs. Times were peaceful and she was trained in the town Tureem to become an Anchorite.
One evening when the day was hot and the Mag'Har were abroad. War drums sounded on the hills surrounding the town. Smoke could be seen billowing from other Drainei settlements in the distance. Before the Drainei could defend themselves, Goulash Icecream and his army of feignorcs burst into the town slaughtering all. Aeonarr managed to escape the town through a priest hole located in the House of the Light. It was cunningly concealed behind a curtain and as such none of the Feignorcs managed to find it. Aeonarr travelled to Zangarmarsh in an attempt to remain hidden from the Feignorcs, there she met other refugee Drainei's from other areas of Drainor. Mumat was a simple man from Tanaan. His clan had a great respect for berry-pickers and Mumats family line was among the best. Whilst in Zangarmarsh Mumat would tell long and exciting stories of his berry picking escapades to the group before turning in for the night.
Whilst seeking refuge in Zangarmarsh the group came across the Sporeggar who had just evolved from the spores in the area. The Sporeggar were looking to make a name for themselves on this continent so they had expanded into the business of carpentry and labouring. The refugees couldn't believe their luck when Sprog Sproggington, the general manager for "Sproggingtons Subcontractors", offered them jobs to work as labourers on the Starship Exodar that was destined to be leaving Drainor. The refugees offered them items of great value in exchange for the contracts. Mumaat offered the finest dried berries from across Drainor, but they turned down all his offers. Aeonarr offered to heal any wounded Sporeggar whilst she remained. Sprog then reminded her that his people tended to not get workplace injuries as they only worked with clipboards and stationary. After exhausting all possible payment methods Sprog settled on the grand sum of 50 glowcaps per contract. Considering that the ground was covered in these mushrooms, every refugee accepted these terms and by the evening all had a contract to work on the Starship.
My Mumat will go on
Starship Exodar set off from Drainor and Aeonarr breathed a sigh of relief. The Starship was heading on an exploratory mission to scan for life on other planets. However during the Starships travels its engines encountered a critical failure meaning all power was lost Aeonarr and Mumat noticed something was wrong when one of the crewmembers passed by their window outside. They rushed to get to a life pod but they had all been taken. The Starship began to plummet into the nearest planet, Azeroth. As the ship hurtled towards the sea off the coast of an island Aeonarr placed a shield on herself and Mumat hoping it would be enough to save them.
When The Exodar crashed on Azuremyst, Aeonarr and Mumat were launched from the ship into the sea, hitting her head she blacked out. Mumat dived down and pulled her on top of a piece of floating wreckage easily big enough to fit two Draineis on. However, ever the gentleman he was Mumat opted to stay in the freezing cold water. Aeonarr awoke and due to her concussion developed amnesia, forgetting about all her time on Drainor. A Drainei was floating next to her, he looked almost frozen and seemed to be dead. She pulled him to the shore and using the last of her energy ressurected him. Mumat coughed and spluttered as he awoke, still proud that he didn't get onto the wreckage with Aeonarr.
The Light and the Berries
Azuremyst was found on the continent of Kalimdor, a brutal and harrowing place filled with savage orcs and hairy tauren. Wanting to explore the new world she was on, she booked a ferry across to Artis Morticulo with Darkshore Cruises. With her new (old) friend Mumat. Mumat explained everything that had happened to her back on Drainor and helped to fill in blanks created by her amnesia during the sail to Artis Morticulo.
On her travels around the new land she discovered many new things about her gift in holy magic, learning from fanatics part of "The Cult of Forgotten Shadow." She was taught how to defend herself with Shadow magic against those who meant her harm. This was a completely new experience to her as she had only been able to use her power for good before. During this time Mumat found his love for berry picking again and found many new and interesting berries in this new continent.
Due to her amnesia Aeonarr became very cocky and developed a Light (God) complex, her condition worsened and she began to consider herself the Messiah of the Light. She travelled around the continent performing miracles that even mages could not. She could turn conjured water into wine, she could even levitate on water, however this feat had already been carried out by the blood Death Knight Lucifrus. This made a lot of the churches angry at her and to put an end to Aeonarrs blasphemy they paid mercenary's from the Fazenholdt Clan in Alterac to put an end to her. Mumat continued in the pursuit to become the best berry picker the world had ever seen. To catch them was his real test, to eat them was his cause. He had travelled across the land, searching far and wide teach others to understand the power that's inside, of berries.
The pair had been travelling Artis Morticulo for two years now and they found themselves in the Stranglethorn Vale, a hostile jungle controlled by mercenaries and Somalian Pirates. Mumat was overjoyed at the thought of finding new berries in this new environment, Aeonarr however had come searching for a long lost legend. A man trapped between times. The Magic Whistle Man. From the tiny scraps of information she could find they all pointed to a cave in the vale. However is was a dangerous trek through hostile territory to get there, but it was one she had to make. Unbeknownst to the pair, they were been followed by a sniper elite from the Fazenholdt Clan, his name Xx-Endmysuffering69WesleySNIPES_420-xX was known across the land for his dank headshots and incredible noscopes. He wore specially engineered "Gunnar" glasses, reserved for the most hardcore mercs and had a can of Hyjal Dew with him to give him the burst of energy hey needed.
Xx-Endmysuffering69WesleySNIPES_420-xX, or Craig to his most close friends tracked the pair down to the mountains in the south east area of the vale. It was like taking candy from a baby, he pulled out his state of the art sniper rifle, built by gnomish engineers in the Fazenholdt Clans personal sweatshop, and lined up the shot. He supped some of the Hyjal Dew from a straw as he pulled the trigger. A ring echoed through the mountains and in the distance the priest lady fell. He had done his job, another one added to his 24 killstreak. He relished at the though of getting a nuke on the next kill and rubbed his hands together. However as he turned around he was met by a strange figure. The figure was shrouded, yet not shrouded at the same time. Bright shining glistening teeth greeted Craig in the dying sunlight. He fell to his knees and begged for his life.
"Please spare me, Oh mighty one." choked Craig.
But the being just looked back at him and chuckled, a deep hearty laugh. as he pulled a tiny tinwhistle up to his lips. The shrouded figure played a tune that was the most beautiful melody Craig had ever heard. After a few seconds of the tune playing Craig crumpled to the floor and never got up again.
Mumat held Aeonarr as she lay dying. The shot hit her in the back, for the sniper had forgot to accommodate for the curvature of the earth when taking his shot. Suddenly a figure appeared in the darkness. He drew a tinwhistle up to his lips and played a melody. The music healed Aeonarrs wound, but she was still weak. The figure beckoned the pair to follow him.
Big Man Tyrone Tyronus
Upon reaching the cave, the man set a campfire going. He was large and black with the whitest teeth Mumat had ever seen. He introduced himself to the pair as Mr Tyronus a hermit living in the shadows hiding from Feignbar. He told them stories of Feignbar and the corruption that he brought with him. He told them about the legacy of the magic whistle and how he had come from a long and prestiged line of Tyronuses. He told them that he had forseen Aeonarr coming to meet him and that she had the power to become the next Guardian of the Magic Whistle. His time was coming to an end and he needed to impart his knowledge upon a worthy student. Mumat was happy for Aeonarr and stayed with her and The Big Man as they trained in the ways of the whistle over the coming weeks. During her time with Tyrone Aeonarr learnt how to hone her abilities in both the shadow magics and the light. She also learnt two very important whistle songs which would prove invaluable in the future. She learn Divine Hymn, a melody that could heal the most injured of people and she learnt Hymn of Hope, innocently referred to as mana song by many, which could replenish the weakest of individuals. However before she could finish her training, awful news spread about of a resurgence of Feignbar in a faraway land. The Big Man requested that Aeonarr go and quench the uprising down in the land of the Raisin Bun before it got out of hand and that she could return to train when Feignbar was defeated again. Before she left with Mumat, Tyrone taught her a tune that would return her to his cave when she was ready to resume her training. With goodbyes said The Big Man played another tune which sounded almost ethereal and the two draineis blacked out.
A Sack of berries and a Sack of Feign.
The pair found themselves in a warm and pleasant environment, cherry blossom trees created a pink confetti that fell upon Aeonarr. 'Hmm, subtle' she thought to herself as they made their way to the nearest settlement. The residents all looked like bears, and spoke in a strange language. However using the powers of the whistle she was able to translate and understand these pandas. Mumat however couldn't understand a single word. The Pandas allowed Aeonarr and Mumat residence as long as the pair helped around the farm. Mumat was in heaven as the Ching Ching Farm was predominantly made up of witchberries, a new berry to him, but with so many years of berrypicking he was a master by now. The pair stayed at Ching Chings as they gathered information about what was happening in this strange land. Word came that Feignbars presence could be felt in the Vale of the Eternal Wok. So the pair began their journey there, thanking the Ching Chings for their hospitality.
In the Vale they travelled to the central hub of the land, The Shrine of the Eternal Wok. There they found many other races that they had seen on Artis Mortuculo, Aeonarr was getting tired of talking to these Panda people by now. Whilst they were in the Shrine, Mumat would often travel out into the Vale in search of berries. One morning a sudden darkness came over the Vale and Aeonarr rushed to see what was causing it. In the center of the fountain a hideous light was shining out, corrupting all around it. Mumat! Aeonarr rushed down to try and find her friend but was stopped at the door by a Dwarven warrior. explaining that to leave the Shrine would be suicide. She ignored his warning and pushed past rushing into the corruption.
Scouring the fields for what felt like hours Aeonarr finally found her old friend. He laid on the floor with Feign seeping out of him. Berries were scattered around him and a sack laid crumpled next to him. Aeonarr tried to resurrect Mumat, but it was to no avail. Aeonarr kneeled down and blinked back tears as she said goodbye. After a few minutes she got up and began walking back to the Shrine, taking no notice of the whispers inside her head.
Upon returning to the Shrine she found that a small crowd had formed around a group that called themselves the Order. They were explaining what had happened and how Galrosh Icecream son of Goulash Icecream had unleashed the Sack of Feign of the land of the Raisin Bun in an attempt to bring back his master Feignbar. The Order were recruiting to lead an assault on the Feigngrimmar. Aeonarr queued up to enlist herself. In front of her stood a fresh faced mage that must have only just left school. He called himself Galgio. Behind her was a quivering fool of a paladin, she thought she heard someone address him as Arzul, but she wasn't sure. The Order was lead by a stoic Paladin named Lazzero and his two officers, Hamporo the warrior and Reah the mage. She sailed with the Order to the the base of Galrosh in an attempt to quench the uprising of Feign and moreso to avenge her berry loving friend.
The Order in New Feigngrimmar
They chased a beast right through the dark
And in a case of searching for antiquities
The put a spear through his heart
Thokbreakers with your two-hand sword
I wanna tear your land apart
You Thokbreaker with your two-hand sword
I wanna tear your land apart
A fourty year old Blackfuse on a sanctum corner
Sticking needles, causing harm
He died in the shredder, there he lay
His boss Galrosh said he had no chance, no chance!
He stuck the pins right in the Scrote
Thokbreaker, feign maker
Stole the feign right out of you Scrote
You stole the feign right out of my Scrote
I wanna drain your world apart
Doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo...
Thokbreaker (Doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo) - The Rolling Feigns.
Enter the Shopping Mall
As Galrosh escaped to Feignor, Azeroth was left free of the corruption of Feignbar. Aeonarr felt she had completed her duties and was ready to return to complete her training with the Big Man Tyrone. The Order however convinced her to assist them in creating a base of operations within Feignor. She assisted in the fall of the Shopping Mall and the end of High Cashier Margoks reign of tyranny and overpricing. It was whilst she was here that she met an old familiar face. Mumat was a member of the forces laying siege to the Shopping Mall, when she spoke to him however he didn't know who she was. He was now a high ranking mage for the Drainei and was known to many as Supernovox. He still had a love for berries, but his berry picking days seemed far behind him. She left the Order to join Mumats elite force as a healer and to rekindle her friendship with her old friend. It was during this time that the whispers inside her head began to seriously affect her health. They had grown louder and more sinister. The whispers sounded almost Irish, and high in pitch. With much reluctance she left the Drainei on Feignor to return to her training and to find out what was causing the whispering.
The Lost Years
With a toot on her magic tinwhistle Aeonarr found herself back in the cave. She had grown to miss the Big Man and his hearty laughter. However when she entered his sanctum she found him laying on the floor, his pristine white teeth chatter. Rushing to his aid he explained he had not much longer on this plane and would soon depart into the great jazz solo in the sky. She was too late...
"How will I finish my training Big Man?" cried Aeonarr,
"A He He He, you cheeky priestster... you are already trained A He... He..." Tyrone rasped.
He explained to her that she should seek out an area hidden within the great library of Kharazhan. This area only appeared to those adept in the ways of the Magic Whistle. There she would be able to master her studies and gain more insight into the whistle magic. He told her to be careful of the whispers and to never give into them for power. The whispers in her head were from Feignbarus himself! Offering her a fraction of his powers in exchange for her sanity. She vowed to never give into the whispers and with that The Big Man departed this plane.
Some say he still lingers watching over providing protection to those who follow the ways of the magic whistle. Others believed he had moved onto another plane in another galaxy. In a faraway world, in the small market town of York within the continent of the United Kingdom. A cheeky face could be seen selling his magic whistle wares to the general population. The denizens would never be able to comprehend the power inside the whistle.
After the Big Mans departure Aeonarr seeked out the library within Kharazhan, there she found ancient tomes upon the magic whistle. She spent months poring over every page, learning and mastering her magic. By the end of her visit there lay one book unopened. It was bound in a rich leather and locked with magical chains. None of her magic had any effect on it so it lay there taunting her. The whispers in her ear urged her to give in and to take some power from them. It wouldnt hurt if I just used their power a little bit though Aeonarr and with that she tapped into some of the power the whispers were offering. Firing off a searing void bolt she cut straight through the chain locking the book. The chain, now broken dissipated before her.
Opening the book she felt an immense power emanating from within. The book was titled. "Unlimited Insanity, Haste gear and Carpal Tunnel. Topping DPS meters for dummies." She read through the forbidden tome and learnt all about the magic that the voices were offering her. At the end of the book there was a complicated magic whistle tune which allowed the user to surrender themselves for a period of time to the voices, the users gained incredible strength and power at a huge cost. Learning everything she could from the tomes she left to wander Azeroth once again.
Whispers of Dew, Harambe, Archibald and Child Armies.
The voices foreshadowed a grim future for Azeroth to Aeonarr. But worried that talking about these matters with others would brand her as insane she kept them to herself. First the voices whispered that the corn snack company of Westfall known as Doritos, had begun to make Hyjal Dew flavoured chips. This pained Aeonarr immensely and she refused to eat the beloved snack from then on. The next whisper to cause Aeonarr great distress was the foreshadowing of the death of King Harambe of the Stranglethorn Vale. a much beloved ape known personally to her from her time spent training there. He was killed by the great hunter Hemet Nestingwary when he endangered a young dwarf childs life. Aeonarr cursed the dwarves for their transgressions to all Harambe-Kin. Next the voices alluded to the demise of her friends within the order at the hand of Archibald. The voices then began to chant 'Tank u Mr Spoopy Archibald' for weeks until they fell silent suddenly. Another whisper which came warned Aeonarr that the escapades of the great somalian pirate KONY2012, were coming to an end. The Fazenholdt special forces had tracked him and his army of children to the island of Alcaz off the coast of Dustwallow Marsh. They were hiding growing in strength on the little known continent of Kalimdor. But ships from the mercenaries were already en route to stop the dictator general. Aeonarr wiped tears from her eyes as she knew all KONY2012 wanted was a child army, there wasn't anything immoral or illegal with that. It offered the children opportunities for later life.
A Song of Shadow and Light
The Leegun invasion shocked the Order... never before had the council of feign caused so much destruction to the land of Artis Morticulo. The Leegun was lead by the council member Darquokkos, a mastermind who lead thousands of feignbars most heinous armies. Moefaypes opening of the tomb of Feignbarus allowed the Leegun forces to enter the land of Artis Morticulo and invade key areas of the land. They invaded the area of Westfall, know for its slums and general impoverished population. Later on key members of the Order would be held to question as to whether the invasions were an inside job aimed at purging the downtrodden and poor and as such removing drains on the economy. These protestors had slogans like "Lazzero did 08/30" and "Leegun fuel cant melt human flesh."
During this time the Order set out to quash any invasions that threatened their land. Old friends and comrades were drafted back into the Order to help against the greatest threat ever posed. Aeonarr returned to the Order, wiser and stronger than how she was before departing. She was stationed in the far north in the Hillsbrad foothills. It was a couple of weeks into the invasions that Aeonarr was told she had to accompany the Order on a mission to the Emerald Isle. The Isle had been previously inaccessible due to the seas surrounding it being controlled by the Somalian Pirates. On this Isle lay the tomb of Feignbarus and the gateway the Leegun forces were using to enter this world.
Vault of Corbyns
Upon the Emerald Isle the Order secured footholds across all areas of the land. Aeonarr was stationed upon a small island home to the secretive clan of "Corbyn," it was lead by a dull and dry man by the name of Ol'Jezza. He wore a brown hauberk and always had a word to say upon how the current government was running Artis Morticulo into the ground. He had a serious problem he explained to Aeonarr during her time on the island. He told her that his once esteemed base of operations the Vault of Corbyns had been overrun by dissenters from the cause. Lead by the dishonorable Cordowen Felsmith, the dissenters had tried to oust Ol'Jezza from power but failing this they settled on claiming his clans home as their own. Ol'Jezza asked Aeonarr to purge the Vault of all his enemies, in return he would pledge his troops to the cause against Feignbar, a temporary coalition between the Corbyn clan and the Order. Aeonarr assembled a crack team to bring justice to Felsmith and his minions. She summoned the old worgen Clemons, the paladin TJ, along with the new caster recruits of Laneyra and Nemember and ventured into the Vault.
After battling past countless Felsmith followers the team came against their first real challenge. The Inquisitor Cuntorum. The battle raged on for hours with the members of the Order sustaining heavy injuries. He seemed nigh invulnerable until the team came up with a solution.They had to give Cuntorum a strike which would cause instant fatality as nothing else seemed to work. Aeonarr and Clemons attached shackles of light to demon hellsteeds summoned from the nether by Nemember, getting thrown off their feet by the speed of their new "pets" the pair of priests only just managed to both grip the Paladin TJ in time with their life grips. TJ bubbled himself in a shell of holy light, just as the fire mage Laneyra shot a pyroblast at him. It was like a holy fireball meatball comet as TJ was flung at a sickeningly high speed at the Inquisitor, who squealed as he saw the projectile coming towards him. The paladin bullet hit Cuntorum who almost formed a 90 degree angle at the impact zone. He crumpled on the ground as the team pillaged him for all of his worth. 19 years serving as a barrister in Artis Morticulo for one day of 5 jobseekers attacking him, robbing him and leaving him crippled in his own home.
Ash'Bomb was the bouncer to Felsmiths inner sanctum. However Felsmith had implemented a defence system which actually impeded Ash'Bombs ability to carry out his job as a bouncer and as such the team shut him down. Blazer was Felsmiths drinking and smoking buddy. Born with only one eye Blazer was shunned and bullied as a child in Artis Morticulo he had an insane phobia of mirrors and of seeing his own reflection. The team managed to reduce Blazer to tears and as such pass by to Felsmiths office through showing him his own distorted and horrific relfection. Huge tears falling from his one eye. Nemember even tried keeping Blazer as a demon pet after the encounter but Aeonarr reminded him that he was just a really ugly human.
Orderrr amongst Chaos
Cordowen Felsmith was a formidable opponent and liked to lurk in the shadow cabinet whilst his minions dispatched intruders inside his sanctum. Unbeknownst to the team had managed to find one of Ol'Jezza's Red lights of the Leftists hidden away inside of the Vault. This light brought the dissenters out of their hiding places, hissing and spitting at the team. They started shouting "Ol'Jezza isn't electable" in a chaotic chorus as they rushed the members of the Order. The team was battered and bruised but after a long battle all that was left remaining of the enemies to Ol'Jezza was Felsmith himself. Ol'Jezza appeared in all of his might and majesty and buffed the team with his stoic words of wisdom, allowing them to see Felsmith for the true fiend he was. Instead of killing him they deported him back to the small quaint island of Wales far off the east shore of the eastern kingdoms. There he would live out the rest of his days being an alchemist and talking of the glory days where he almost ran the clan of "Corbyn."
One ally that the Order managed to make in the dire mission was that of Ser John Bercow the fourteenth of Westfall. An honest man just wanting to rise through the ranks of the clan "Corbyn," Ser Bercow was roped into commiting foul atrocities for the dissenter Felsmith. Ser Bercow knew the system of politics and in return for the Order sparing his life and saving him from a grim and harrowing future he set up "ORDERRR" Halls for the Order. With his mighty gavel of justice he joined the ranks of the Order to help bring down the great feignbar who he believed was behind the betrayal of Ol'Jezza.
"ORDERRR, ORDERRR.... you're a cheeky chappie yellusia, a loud cheeky chappie." - Ser John Bercow the fourteenth of Westfall.